Is there anything that you want to do differently? I was telling my friend about it, and he wrote me a nice message. I am already happier, healthier, and more relaxed then I was 20 days ago. The experiment forced me to reevaluate my lifestyle and what I want in the future. Just because it didn’t end as I had hoped doesn’t mean it wasn’t a success. We both learned a tremendous amount about each other and about ourselves. Yet there were many other days filled with smiles, silliness, love, and laughter. There were days Tim overwhelmed me and drove me nuts with his inability to make decisions and his constant need to exert control. We are so wrong for each other in so many ways, and so right for each other in many other ways. Our relationship with Disney World, like each other, was deeply conflicted and complicated. Our moods and emotions and feelings can change from day to day, minute to minute. It is interesting to me how we can so easily shift between love and hate. By the end of the line he professed his love for it. At the beginning of the wait, Tim professed his hatred for Disney World. We waited in line for a cab at the JFK taxi stand. How do you feel about this relationship/project right now? Like Steve Jobs said: “Deciding what not to do is as important as deciding what to do.” What I respect most about both of these men is not their ability to come up with numerous ideas, but to recognize which ones were worth pursuing, and to persevere through challenges and realize them. I’ve always thought that business and romance have many parallels. Both were complicated and obsessive, layered with many personal issues, and were extraordinarily creative visionaries who ran successful companies.
I read a book about him recently, and his personality and life story remind me of Steve Jobs’s. We’ve had four great years of friendship, 40 days of dating, and we will hopefully have many more crazy adventures to come.ĭid you learn anything new about yourself? We agreed that no matter what happens, we don’t want to lose each other from our lives. I will be forever connected to him because of these experiences we’ve shared.
Even if it wasn’t meant to work for us romantically, I’ll continue to love him as a friend.
While this has certainly been the most unconventional romantic relationship of my life, Tim fits into all those categories. Someone I trust, respect, and share experiences with. Someone who helps me discover aspects of myself I didn’t see before and for whom I can do the same. On a whole, I’ve experienced it as being committed to someone I am passionately interested in. I guess love is something you just have to experience and define for yourself. What does it even mean to love someone? It seems almost impossible to universally define such a complex state of mind since we all experience life so uniquely. I downed a few miniature bottles of red wine to drown my sadness, and I finished the last chapter of my book.ĭid you learn anything new about Timothy? I listened to Lana Del Rey’s Born To Die on repeat, which helped me through my last breakup. We boarded the plane, and I cuddled up in the window seat with a blanket and pillow. He agreed, and he said it would be better to end things now before he could screw things up even more. I told him that as deeply as I care for him, he deserves to be with someone he is crazy for, and I deserve to be with someone who is crazy for me. He said he still didn’t feel it was right between us. I asked him if his feelings had changed since last night, or if he wanted to try to make it work. Tim finally broke the silence, and suggested we address the elephant in the room. Tim watched the basketball game while I read my book. We schlepped our bags through security, and we ate dinner at the bar of some Mexican restaurant in silence. Around 5:30 we took the Magical Express back to the airport. The combination of the sun, alcohol, and exhaustion from the walking must have dehydrated me. After we ate, I began to feel quite faint. The constant noise and visuals at Disney’s Animal Kingdom proved to be the perfect distraction from the disappointment and pain.Īround noon we sat down at an outdoor bar and drank margaritas. We didn’t speak about last night’s events. We spent the morning running around to the various rides. lettering by Dana Tanamachi Jessica Walsh
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